Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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