I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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