i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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