yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
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So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse