Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.

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  (651): I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning. http://tfl.nu/un48
  Replies (23) Good night (3407) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill

  (970): View more from Colorado

  did you ask her what wine to pair it with?

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  (305): gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill (970): did you ask her what wine to pair it with? http://tfl.nu/3bdr
  Replies (7) Good night (5635) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home

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  (805): we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home http://tfl.nu/wods
  Replies (17) Good night (1132) Bad night (7993)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.

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  (989): I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance. http://tfl.nu/0t4j
  Replies (5) Good night (1054) Bad night (3808)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.

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  (678): I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you. http://tfl.nu/ocnt
  Replies (1) Good night (2067) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome

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  (+64): Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome http://tfl.nu/lxnn
  Replies (7) Good night (2900) Bad night (1414)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?

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  (214): Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up? http://tfl.nu/f130
  Replies (9) Good night (3762) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks

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  (918): All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks http://tfl.nu/j9e3
  Replies (13) Good night (2139) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."

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  (270): It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.." http://tfl.nu/em6p
  Replies (5) Good night (4770) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness

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  (215): they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness http://tfl.nu/sk3k
  Replies (3) Good night (1878) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.

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  (636): I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair. http://tfl.nu/7cwm
  Replies (3) Good night (593) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!

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  (562): I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!! http://tfl.nu/mwf9
  Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.

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  (301): Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask. http://tfl.nu/cyae
  Replies (4) Good night (548) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.

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  (630): Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure. http://tfl.nu/6394
  Replies (5) Good night (443) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.

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  (505): I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people. http://tfl.nu/ak4o
  Replies (0) Good night (198) Bad night (407)

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