My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
