No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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