careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
