And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
