Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
