Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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