So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
