Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
