I accidentally burped into my bong.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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