i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This is my gift to your gina
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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