That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
