do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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