Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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