My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
