I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
