Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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