i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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