Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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