ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
