Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
