I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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