and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
babies were throwing up all over the place
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
