Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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