this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
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I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
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Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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