trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
