Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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