Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
