But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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