no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
