i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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