i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
