Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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