no, he came in my armpit
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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