I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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