if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Randomize
