He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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