**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
smell my finger.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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