Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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