Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
