So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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