Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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