Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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