Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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