They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
