just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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