Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
