My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Randomize
