I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Holy sore nipples Batman
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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