I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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