Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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