I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
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I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
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Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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