I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
